You will never find truth like this in any mainstream, state-corporate media publication as they are practically falling over each other to kiss Hillary Clinton’s pasty, entitled fat ass. The Onion, a mainstay in the satirical news world really outdoes itself with today’s piece entitled “Hillary Clinton To Nation: ‘Do Not Fuck This Up For Me’”:

WASHINGTON—After several seconds spent sitting motionless and glaring directly into the camera, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reportedly began Sunday’s video announcing her 2016 presidential bid by warning the nation not to fuck this up for her. “Listen up, assholes, ’cause I’m only saying this once: I’ve worked way too goddamn hard to let you morons blow this thing for me,” said Clinton, repeatedly jabbing her index finger toward the viewers at home while adding that if they thought she was going to simply sit back and watch them dick her over like they did in 2008, they were out of their fucking minds. “Seriously, don’t you dare even think about it. If you shitheads can just get in line, we can breeze through this whole campaign in 19 months and be done with it. Or, if you really want, we can do this the hard way. Because make no mistake, I’m not fucking around. Got it?” Clinton then ended her announcement by vowing to fight for a better future for all working-class families like the one she grew up in.

Brilliant! While our long national nightmare is just beginning with Hillary’s cross country pilgrimage to Iowa in her phony “Scooby Doo” van to act like she really gives a rat’s ass about middle class Americans it is nice to see at least one website -satirical or not- that is able to cut through the bullshit.