We Americans have seen our first African-American president and if the GOP Establishment succeeds in stopping Donald Trump we will likely have our first female president but it’s going to be awhile until we see our first gay president. In a sad bit of news that must have had neocons everywhere scrambling for their Kleenex boxes, Senator Lindsey Graham has officially bowed out of the race for the White House. The Palmetto State princess never could channel the overwhelming popularity that he enjoys with the media – specifically the Sunday morning talking head circuit – into any sort of success in the polls. Graham not only couldn’t make it past the “kid’s table” debates but was unable to consistently break the one percent barrier, leaving him fighting for scraps with chumps like George Pataki and Happy Gilmore.

Reuters is reporting that “Republican Lindsey Graham drops out of 2016 presidential race”:

Senator Lindsey Graham, a respected conservative voice on defense and foreign policy issues, dropped out of the 2016 Republican presidential race on Monday after months of barely registering in opinion polls.

Graham struggled to gain traction in a crowded Republican field dominated by front-runner Donald Trump, and he faced the potentially embarrassing prospect of being trounced in the Feb. 20 primary in his home state of South Carolina.

Graham, an early and staunch advocate of using U.S. ground troops against Islamic State, said his long-shot campaign had made headway in influencing the party’s debate on the conflict.

“I got into this race to put forward a plan to win a war that we cannot afford to lose, and to turn back the tide of isolationism that was rising in our party. I believe we’ve made enormous progress in this effort,” he said in a video posted on YouTube.

He noted many of his Republican rivals for the November 2016 election now support placing more ground troops in Syria, and promised to continue his hawkish criticism of President Barack Obama’s strategy in Syria.

“I’m far more confident today that our party will reject the Obama doctrine of leading from behind and will provide the strong leadership America needs to restore our military and take the fight to our enemies,” he said in the video.

Graham, a third-term senator from South Carolina, had repeatedly been relegated to the early “undercard” debate of low-polling Republican candidates. He registered below 1 percent in most national polls and in the latest Reuters/Ipsos poll of the Republican field.

You know that it’s going to be rough sledding when your greatest amount of media coverage comes courtesy of front-runner Donald Trump giving out your private cellphone number at a campaign rally. Graham’s announcement has drawn weepy reactions from the establishment including from longtime liberal publication The Nation which moaned that “the candidate who called out Trump’s bigotry is now out of the running.” He may be missed by many but all those who will do so are a huge part of the problem in the corrupt fraud of a shitshow that is American politics circa 2015.

While Graham may have abandoned his long shot bid he most certainly will always have a spot on the Sunday morning shows where his strident and paranoid ravings are viewed by the celebrity hosts with slack-jawed wonderment. He will also always have a seat on old blood and guts John McCain’s lap as the senile bastard’s squeaky ventriloquist’s dummy. Thank you for playing Senator Graham, pick up your consolation prize of a Donald Trump butt plug and a tube of special holiday edition peppermint flake KY jelly and don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.