Former Speaker of the House and pickled-liver drunk John Boehner surfaced last week when he made headlines by blasting Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz as “Lucifer in the flesh”. The radiating orange weeper had kept a low profile after he handed his gavel to corporate Trojan horse Paul Ryan and set his course for a post-congressional career of boozing and lobbying. Boehner’s remarks came during an appearance at Stanford University in which he also referred to Cruz as a “miserable son of a bitch”, a sentiment that is likely widespread in Congress where the Texas Senator is widely loathed. Boehner’s remarks thrilled the media but didn’t sit well with actual worshippers of the dark prince who angrily rejected comparisons between their master and Cruz.

ABC News reports that “Satanists Snub Comparison of Cruz to Lucifer”:

Prominent Satanists want to be clear: Ted Cruz need not apply.

After former House Speaker John Boehner on Wednesday called the current Republican presidential candidate “Lucifer in the flesh,” saying he found it difficult to work with him, staunch Satanists decried the comparison.

“Having a conservative Christian likened to Lucifer — one who opposes equal rights for same sex couples and promotes the ability to deny services to any with different values — we Satanists see as besmirching the positive, heroic aspects of that character as portrayed by Milton in his epic ‘Paradise Lost,'” Magus Peter Howard Gilmore, the high priest of The Church of Satan, said in a statement.

Lucien Greaves, a spokesman and co-founder for the Satanic Temple, told ABC News he thinks Cruz engages in “clearly deplorable behavior” and that Boehner’s comments were “thoughtless and ignorant.”

“Christians can’t just push Cruz off on Satanists,” Greaves said. “All he’s trying to say is that Ted Cruz is some type of embodiment of evil. I think that’s a rather destructive, backward mindset, because when you take clearly Christian individuals, clearly Christian activities, and things go sour, you pass them off as the influence of Satan.

The flaming hot response is a reminder that devil worshippers are people who have feelings too. Boehner must have had a bad case of the screaming heebie jeebies given that his current hiatus allows for him to spend more time sucking on the end of a bottle. As for Cruz, outside of the GOP establishment that is using him to block the hated Donald Trump from getting the magic number of delegates in order to produce a brokered convention, his immediate family and a die-hard clutch of supporters who see him as the messiah, he just isn’t that popular.

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