The cop haters and fuck America types who have been clamoring for their hero Colin Kaepernick to get onto the field have just had their wish granted. The militant San Francisco 49ers benchwarmer has been named the starting quarterback for this Sunday’s NFL game against the Buffalo Bills. Kaepernick has become a superstar for the mangy hordes of embittered liberals and anti-Americans – but I repeat myself – ever since his snit during the playing of the national anthem launched a fad that may now be on the brink of becoming a cult religion.
After five weeks of watching quarterback Blaine Gabbert struggle, San Francisco 49ers coach Chip Kelly is making a change.
Kelly on Tuesday named Colin Kaepernick his starting quarterback for Sunday’s game against Buffalo, a decision that comes following weeks of speculation.
“Just to announce, we’re going to make a move at quarterback and we’re going to start Colin this week and give him an opportunity to run with the ones,” Kelly said. “I believe you’ve got to do it at the beginning of the week just because of how reps are distributed.”
“I think I’ve always been confident,” Kaepernick said. “It’s something that I’m ready to step on that field, I’m ready to play. It’s been about a year since live game action. So, I’m itching to get out there.”
After meeting with the coaching staff and discussing possible solutions for the Niners’ 31st ranked offense (in yards per game), Kelly said the group came to the conclusion that one of the only moves it could make to potentially jumpstart the offense was to make a change at quarterback.
Kaepernick’s second chance can be summed up in three words: Blaine Gabbert sucks. The Jacksonville Jaguars castoff has been nothing short of putrid in leading the 49ers to a 1-4 record with an abysmal 69.6 quarterback rating. Had Gabbert managed to show even a semblance of competence then it’s likely that Kaeptain Un-America would have never seen the playing field. Instead Gabbert put on a shitshow of bad quarterbacking during last week’s nationally televised beat down by Arizona Cardinals with a rancid 18 of 31, two interception performance. It’s hard to see how he wouldn’t have gotten the hook even if the reinsertion of the militant mulatto could cost the team dearly in attendance, merchandise sales and concession revenue and be an ongoing public relations nightmare for the league.
Hey, you can hardly blame coach Chip Kelly for making the switch. He had already been accused of racism by a number of black players when he was with the Philadelphia Eagles and had he stuck with Gabbert the media would have vilified him as David Duke with a whistle.
Kaepernick will surely get a warm welcome by Bills fans this week and hopefully Rex and Rob Ryan have a nice set of blitz packages for the occasion. The game starts at 1 pm ET.